There’s a bra in my lunchbox

You may have already read this story on my other blog a few years ago, but it’s back complete with illustrations.

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Don’t trade lunches with Jenny!

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(Why yes, my elementary school was extremely tiny and it was also shaped like a poorly drawn pencil ;))
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My mother, being the evil genius that she is, decided to find me the most itchy, scratchy, uncomfortable bra that she could possibly find. This way I’d be quiet about wanting a bra and I’d see that growing up too fast isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Her evil plan had worked and since she saw that I had learned my lesson, she never made me wear that horrible bra again.

The joke was on her 5 years later when I actually needed a bra and she had to practically wrestle me into one! I had no desire to ever wear one again after my traumatic experience in the first grade. I required one with no underwire, no lace, no trim, no padding. Two band-aids would’ve done a better job. Then a few years after that when I really blossomed, I went the other direction and wore my bra constantly, I even slept in it every night.

In my late teens I would get a job in the lingerie department of a local department store and would eventually become a fit consultant and the department manager for 5 years.

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Sadly my mom got rid of my Popples lunchbox years ago and now I have to keep all of my bras in a drawer like a normal person.

When did you get your first bra?
Were you excited about it or embarrassed?
Was your bra itchy and uncomfortable too?
Let me know in the comments!

This was linked to Mama’s Kat Writer’s Workshop for the prompt:
3.) Write a post inspired by the word: bra

Related Posts:
*Awkward: I sold my teacher what?!!!
*Dear Diary: I’m kind of a stalker

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!

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Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

About Jenn Rian

Jenn is a bored and sarcastic divorced mom of two who blogs and vlogs because the voices in her head tell her to. She blogs about as often as she showers, which isn't very often. Author of jennrian.com and funanddysfunction.com (coolestfamilyontheblock.com)

Posted on June 13, 2013, in About Me, Childhood, Kinda Sketchy, Old School, True Stories, Undergutchies, Writer's Workshop. Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. I thought your mom was pretty much a genius with the scratchy, miserable bra until I read further and discovered she had created a monster.

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    • Right, Dyanne?! It worked at first but just snow balled after that! In fact, I just posted a vlog about how one of my breastfeeding Facebook pictures got reported for nudity/pornography! It’s truly comical, and all a little ironic 😉

      Like

  2. Bra in metal lunch box = hilarious! Also, I must have missed an entire character commercialization–what the heck are Popples?

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    • Oh my, you don’t know Popples?! Well…
      “Produced in the 1980s, these (plush) toys resemble brightly colored teddy bears or rabbits (but with long tails with pom-poms on the tip), and have pouches on their backs that can be inverted, so they go into the pouches and resemble brightly colored balls…From 1986 to 1987, a two-season Popples cartoon series was broadcast in the United States.” source
      The photos above are exactly like my old Popples lunchbox (I swiped the images from ebay!).

      Like

  3. cute story. My first bra was a cotton training bra. I think it was comfortable enough. That I suddenly “needed” one was a bit of surprise, but I took it in stride. Then in my 20’s I went through the bra rebellion of the 70’s and went sans-bra quite abit, then later reappreciated the value of them. They are trendy to wear nowadays. Though I don’t like thick padding which nearly ALL bras seem to have a 1/2 inch of. Nor do I like the completely unlined bras that show everything when it’s cold. Nope, I like the happy medium of a bra with a lining on the inside and no stuffing.

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    • Your first bra sounds like a dream compared to mine 😉
      You need a “lightly lined” bra. Even when I worked Lingerie in the late 90s early 2000s those were hard to come by, there were a lot of unlined bras and ones with molded cups (often call “sweater bras”). There were only a few “lightly lined”. I’ve been out of the bra biz for awhile, so I’m not sure what they have out there now.

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  4. Ah. I figured Popples must have hit the market when I was past the cartoon stage. *ahem* I won’t say how old I was then…

    love the images mixed in w/ your drawings. Might have to borrow that idea sometime!

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    • Yay, Jennie! I hope they work out for you, they were always my number 1 seller. Good to hear that all of my bra-knowledge is still good for something 😉

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  5. Lesson learned! Bra’s aren’t always what they are cracked up to be. Working in a lingerie store sounds like it helped. Lots of practice makes a perfect fit! I wish I had someone to fit me. I’ve never found a bra I’ve liked.

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    • No they are not, Carol! 😉 I don’t really know why I wanted one so badly. My sister was obsessed with makeup and I never really cared about it, so maybe bras were my makeup?

      I certainly learned a lot working in lingerie. Bra fitting really is a science, I’d sometimes spend hours with a customer if necessary. A good bra-fitting can make all the difference, find a good fit consultant that really knows their merchandise!

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  6. I don’t exactly remember how old I was… 6th or 7th grade probably… but I was probably far too excited about getting one… couldnt’ wait to get my period either. Silly girl!

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    • Yeah, I was excited too until I put that horrible thing on 😉
      I wouldn’t say that I was excited about my period, but I was definitely anticipating it’s arrival. Then once it got here I was mortified for the first week-ish. But that’s another blog for another day 😉

      Like

  7. successfullivingsite

    I like sarcastic. The bra story was funny. I am inspired to write about some school stuff myself now….and subscribe to your blog. I blog at http://lifejustsaying.blogspot.com

    Like

  8. tamaralikecamera

    haha…popples!!! I loved popples. I had a big purple one and a little purple one that I earned from having chicken pox. Go me! I inherited my sister’s training bras even though before she gave them to me, she had me believing they were monkey print and I’d get laughed out of school. They were actually floral and no one in middle school actually saw my bra. The sad truth is that I didn’t need a bra until adulthood, at least. I’m still not convinced I do, although I’ve had two kids now and there were some nice temporary times of needing them.

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    • Popples were the best! I also had a purple one…I had a purple Huggabunch too 🙂
      My sister didn’t need a bra until adulthood either. Now that she’s got ’em she keeps trying to stuff her DD’s into A cups…not happening. She thinks it gives her more cleavage, but it just looks like she’s smuggling a litter of puppies under her shirt 😉

      Like

  9. Popples! WooHoo!!! I had to start wearing a bra in 4th grade. Yuck. Hated the dumb thing. But I don’t think it ever ended up in my lunchbox. I did get in trouble in 2nd grade for showing my slip to a boy.

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    • Hussy! 😉

      That’s too funny because in Kindergarten I was wearing one of those fluffy crinoline-type skirts (which means it was everywhere and completely visible!), and I saw a boy looking at it (probably innocently marveling at it sheer size and fluffiness) and I verbally condemned him and told the teacher on him!

      Like

  10. Ha! This is hilarious. I’ve never really needed a bra. I have the chest of a 12 year old boy. When I started wearing one I had to wear a tshirt underneath it. I could not stand the feeling of it against my skin. All was fine until gym class when we had the scoliosis test in gym. Everyone saw how I was wearing my bra and I never lived it down.

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    • oh my! I think it’s terrible that you have to show all your bidness in gym class! I don’t remember having to take a scoliosis test, but we all changed in the locker room together (even worse on swim days when you had to get completely nekkid!).
      I hear ya, though, I was so uncomfortable when I first started wearing one, they’re so tight and itchy, yick!

      Like

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