About the Queen

Good day, peasants!

…and the peasants rejoiced. (True Story)

Hi, I am Jenn, the self-proclaimed Queen of Random.
I blog and vlog because the voices in my head tell me to.
My goal is to conquer the blogosphere with mediocre posts about my dull life and ultimately rule the world.

You have just discovered a brand spanking new itty bitty newborn baby blog…lucky you! You win, well, absolutely nothing. Except bragging rights. That’s right, chat it up at your next mom’s group meeting about how you found this weird little blog by a crazy lady on the internet. They’ll all be sooo jealous that they didn’t find it first 😉
(But seriously, though, you should totally tell them because I could use more readers!)

My first 10 posts are funny-ish, so I like to call this a humor blog.
And I use the term “humor” loosely. Very, very loosely.

I’m going to write some things about some stuff and you’re going to read it.
This blog doesn’t make any sense or seem to have any real purpose.
It is pointless, sarcastic, and a giant waste of your time.
But you should probably read it anyway.

I’m trying to go green, organic, vegetarian, and possibly crazy…

…but I’m not above shoving my mouth full of free candy.
Because, ya know, chocolate. And priorities.

I have two kids and a man that follow me around.

The girl is 4.5, the boy is 2, that dude’s been hanging around me for the past decade-ish.
They’re cute and all…but this blog isn’t about them. It’s about me.
Try to contain your excitement.

I’m a birth and breastfeeding nerd. I think placentas are rad.
I’ve never eaten one but it’s on my bucket list (just kidding…sorta).

I’m an organized, detailed, list-making, (recovering) control freak.
(But since having kids I’ve become one of those never-get-a-shower, can’t-get-anything-accomplished kinda moms. I smell purdy ;))

I’m a domestically challenged stay-at-castle-mom that doesn’t know how to cook and hates to clean (Wouldn’t you like to come over to my dirty house for dinner? I’ll be serving nothing with a side of homemade nothing. I’ll be wearing the same booger and banana covered pajamas I did yesterday. Some of those boogers will belong to the children. Yum!).

Oh, and I also have an adult-sized onesie.

I think I’m hilarious, although I may be the only one.
By royal decree you must find me amusing or forever be banished!

So you’re totally going to want to start following my blog. Coolness, awesomeness, and hilarity will ensue. You don’t want to miss it. There will be much laughter…it will all be my laughter, but still…

Fare thee well,
Her Royal Majesty
Queen Jenn of the Internet

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog.
Please be gentle with it, wash your hands before touching it,
and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com.