Category Archives: Blogging

The time I scrubbed the kitchen floor

The time I scrubbed the kitchen floor is one of my grandma’s favorite stories to tell about me. I was about four years old. I was visiting at my grandma’s house and I told her to lie on the sofa so that I could take care of her and clean the house. I even made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. By the way, my cooking skills have not improved much.

The photoshop skills are strong in this one. Ahem.

Then I pulled a stool up to the sink and washed all of the dishes. For my grand finale, I decided to scrub the kitchen floor.

Be impressed by this fancy “time lapse” drawing.

This was the early 1980s: there were no child safety locks on the cabinets, and despite his popularity back then, there was no Mr. Yuk sticker in sight as I looked under the sink to choose which cleaning products to use. My grandmother’s kitchen was enormous and I probably spent an hour in there on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor while my grandma rested. When I was finished I was so proud of myself and I called my grandma into the room to see the sparkly clean kitchen.

My grandma’s reaction in her own words:

“I will never forget the sight. You had scrubbed the whole floor with Comet and it was so thick on the floor that’s all you could see. When grandpa came home from work he had to really scrub the floor. But you tried and really did a good job with Comet.”

Yes, I had used Comet to scrub the kitchen floor, probably because that’s what we used at home to clean out our cast iron bathtub and it was the only household cleanser that I had prior experience with. The entire kitchen floor was covered in a thick layer of beautiful blue, gritty Comet. My grandma was shocked, but she only praised my hard work. My grandpa, who had to clean up my mess and rewash the dishes, was far less enthusiastic about my “job well done”.

Scrubbing the kitchen floor with Comet? Epic fail! And I can’t really say that my cleaning skills have improved much since then…

Do you have an epic cleaning fail? Did you ever scrub something with Comet that you should’nt have? Let me know in the comments!

Today, April 07, is No Housework Day! Celebrate with me and my pal Rachael from Non-Domestic Mama by linking up your housework and anti-housework related posts here. You can also “like” the No Housework Party Facebook Page and party on Twitter using the hashtag #nohousework!

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!

Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com where I pretend to be a good mom.

Posted in About Me, Childhood, Domestically Challenged, Kinda Sketchy, No Housework Party, Old School, True Stories

18 Comments

Tags: domestically challenged, housework, No Housework Day

The Ultimate Blog Party 2014

Apr 3

Posted by Jenn Rian

Hi, I’m Jenn! I’ve participated in The Ultimate Blog Party for the past 3 years over at my mom/family blog Coolest Family on the Block and after four years I’m not sure how many different ways I can introduce myself without sounding repetitive, so this year I put together a little video that describes this blog.

(Watch video here)

*I like to vlog.
*I love chocolate.
*I hate Tootsie Rolls.
(Tootsie Rolls are not chocolate…they are an abomination!)
*I’m a total FalPal.
*I’m extremely disappointed in the How I Met Your Mother series finale.

You can read more about me on my about me page (duh) and over at my family blog Coolest Family on the Block. Oh, and I also have an adult sized onesie. Haters gonna hate.

Please leave me a comment and tell me about your blog! Give me a shout out on social media so that I can follow you back!

Coolest Family on the Block ULTIMATE BLOG PARTY Posts
Ultimate blog Party 2014
Ultimate Blog Party 2013
Ultimate Blog Party 2012
Ultimate Blog Party 2011

Posted in About Me, Blog Hops, Blogging, Ultimate Blog Party

19 Comments

Tags: blog hop, Humor blogger, The Ultimate Blog Party, UBP14

Mommy TMI 7/12/13

Jul 11

Posted by Jenn Rian

It’s time for another Mommy TMI vlogging link up with Janene and Christine from More Than Mommies

Be sure to stop by the More Than Mommies Mixer to link up your vlog, blog, Twitter, Facebook, and Google+…I’m co-hosting this week as the Life of the Party!

Check out my video to hear the answers to these burning questions. (Video here)

(Video here)

If you’re interested in more of my vlogs (of course you are!) here are some links to a few I’ve posted this week:
*Socially Awkward Blogger interacts with humans (Watch on YouTube)
*Jenn Meets Kat: How I envision our first face-to-face meeting
*Mommy TMI 6/28/13 (Watch on YouTube)

…and you can find even more of that good stuff on my YouTube channel (subscribe!) and my Vlog Magic page.

You can make your own Mommy TMI vlog and link it up with the More Than Mommies Mixer…or you can just link up your blog and get your blog hop on.

Posted in About Me, Blog Hops, Mommy TMI, Vlog

12 Comments

Tags: blog hop, humor, linky, vlog

I’m the Life of the Party (Linky)

Jul 11

Posted by Jenn Rian

Pretty ironic after all of my social awkwardness a few weeks ago, but here I am…the Life of the Party!

Read the rest of this entry →

Posted in Blog Hops, Blogging, Mommy TMI

5 Comments

Tags: blog hop, linky

How to be socially awkward at blogging events

Jul 7

Posted by Jenn Rian

Do you find new blog followers everywhere you go? Are people drawn to your sparkling personality and witty conversation? Are you the life of every party?
Would you like it to stop? If you’d like to make less friends and leave a questionable impression on everyone you meet, then follow these helpful tips.

(Watch on YouTube)
The video and the post are different. Sorry to inform you, you are going to have to both read and watch. 😉

How to be socially awkward at blogging events

1. Find out about the event the day before.
The last thing that you need is more time to be properly prepared so make sure that you find out about the event at the last minute. Having other plans before your event is also great for helping you feel rushed and unprepared.

(When Crazy Meets Exhaustion vlogs and I find out about the Scary Mommy Meet and Greet.)

2. Do not get adequate sleep the night before.
It’s best to be totally exhausted so that you’re really off your game and you have (even more) huge dark circles and bags under your eyes. Personally I like to go to bed at 4:30am and then wake up at 7:00am the next morning.

3. Make a last minute trip to the store.
If you’re going to an event where you have the opportunity to have an author sign something for you and then realize you don’t have a physical book for them to sign you may as well take an hour or so to go buy the book. Make sure that the trip makes you run late so that you barely have time to change your clothes before the event.

4. Bring a tiara.
Carry a tiara in your bag, make sure that it’s visible and that everyone can see it.
Don’t take it out and don’t mention it. Also it helps to carry around a pair of cute but very large shoes that have mud on them from your trip to the park earlier that day.

5. Dress inappropriately.
If everyone else is rocking a cute sundress you should totally shroud yourself in dark clothing, wear flip-flops, and try your best to resemble a 12 year old hippie-ninja wearing pajamas.
Also, be short. Really short.

Me, Christine, Stephanie, Jill, Janene, Meredith, Amanda

6. Make a poor underwear selection.
I’m not just talking about pantylines. Wear something that bunches, creeps, and rides up. Just when someone finds you remotely interesting, slink away and attempt to discreetly pull the underwear from your crack. Repeat 35 times.

7. Be certain the photographer only takes bad photos of you. No, I mean really, really bad photos.
Preferably when you’re in the middle of nervously crossing and uncrossing your legs.

(Source of unedited photo)

8. Sweat like a pig and incessantly fan yourself.
Upper lip sweat is particularly great for making you feel more uncomfortable. Find a program, a postcard, or something similar and fan yourself furiously.

9. Make friends with a lamp.
Just when the conversation is starting to get good, step aside and begin standing awkwardly next to a lamp as though it is your best friend.

10. Ramble about a different blogger.
When a famous blogger is signing your book start rambling about how much you love a different blogger. “I love Kat. I read her blog all the time. She’s so funny. She’s my best friend, except not really. I am not a stalker.”

11. BONUS! Talk smack on your own blog.
Also, when talking to other bloggers be sure to badmouth your own blog, “My blog is small. No one reads it. I don’t even write on it anymore. Everything is stupid. I hate the world.”
Don’t tell them the name of your blog and don’t give them your business card.
(Source of unedited photo)

Even though I felt like a socially awkward weirdo, all of the other bloggers were great and assured me that I “did just fine” (Code for: It’s awkward enough without talking about how awkward it is. Please change the subject.).
I want to give a special shout-out to Femme Frugality that had the misfortune of witnessing me accidentally rub my booty all over the food table and then crack a lame joke about sitting on a stack of plates. My apologies.

(You can also see the awkward encounter I’ve imagined if I ever met Kat in person here)

As if I didn’t embarrass myself enough the first time, I’m going to be attending a local blogger Meet and Greet on July 19, 2013. This event is at Ikea, so I’m going to be really busy making friends with lamps, but I’m sure I can make a little time for you if you’d like to experience this train wreck in person.

Where will Jenn be acting like an idiot in 2014?
Come watch it happen in person! 🙂

This post is linked to:

Posted in Awkward, Blogging, Humor, Writer's Workshop

45 Comments

Tags: awkward

Mommy TMI 6/28/13

Jun 29

Posted by Jenn Rian

Janene and Christine from More Than Mommies have started a vlogging link up: Mommy TMI!

I just can’t pass up a good vlog opportunity these days, so check out my video to hear the answers to these burning questions. (Video here)

(Video here)

If you’re interested in more of my vlogs (of course you are!) here are some links to some of my most popular:
*Prance off the Pounds: A Prancercise Parody (Watch on YouTube)
*Dear Diary: I was a Middle School Stalker (Watch on YouTube)
*Something interesting I received in the mail (Watch on YouTube)

…and you can find even more of that good stuff on my YouTube channel (subscribe!) and my Vlog Magic page.

You can make your own Mommy TMI vlog and link it up with the More Than Mommies Mixer…or you can just link up your blog and get your blog hop on.

Posted in About Me, Blog Hops, Mommy TMI, Vlog

9 Comments

Tags: vlog

Mama wants to write!

May 1

Posted by Jenn Rian

In 2010 when my daughter turned a year old I decided to start a blog. I needed a hobby and an outlet and a way to get all of the words out of my head that my daughter couldn’t understand yet and my husband didn’t want to hear. When I became a mom I began reading many blogs because I enjoyed reading about other moms and their families. I’ve always loved writing so starting a blog seemed like a natural fit to me.

When I first began Coolest Family on the Block I had planned on the emphasis being “family fun”, how to create traditions in your family, creative ways to celebrate holidays, and anything fun you can do with your kids. At first I blogged about whatever I wanted just to keep it updated and I wrote a lot about my childhood. Eventually over the past (nearly) 3 years it seems as though I have finally settled into that original niche I was planning on (thanks in great part to Pinterest, I believe). I gained some readers and steady hits and my popular posts proved what people were visiting for (and it wasn’t the wordy stuff). BUT the problem with that niche and those posts was that it required very little writing which is what I wanted to do in the first place. There are a lot of photos and descriptions and linking hither, fither, and yon involved…but hardly any words. Every time I wanted to post something more personal or wordy it just didn’t seem like it fit anymore 😦 The interesting thing is that my personal posts get less hits but often get more comments whereas my more popular posts get thousands of hits and pins but often very few comments. Aside from the desire to get out all of the words the second reason why I started blogging was for community. I don’t have any real-life mom friends so I was hoping to make some blogging friends. This can’t happen when no one is commenting on your blog.

All of those boring words just to say that my first blog has been moderately successful and I do still have an interest in it but it’s not giving me the writing outlet that I was hoping for. Enter, “I Make Myself the Queen!”. I actually created this blog back in 2010 and then let it sit here. Now I think it will be perfect for what I want to do which is…write a lot of words about some stuff. The other blog, well, it’s all about kids, but this…this is about me! Oh, yes. Will I talk about the kids? Probably. Will there be talk about boogers and poop? I think that’s inescapable. (Let’s hope that’s about the kids as well) Will it be random? Decidedly so. Will it be funny? I sure hope so. But not always. Will it be serious and teach you important life lessons? Possibly, although perhaps unlikely. Only time will tell.

So, here it is. I’m blogging. Like, I mean, I’m actually going to write some junk. And? I’m going to write about whatever I feel like at the moment. No promises. No guarantees.

I hope you’ll read it.