TV Show Dream Roles

This week one of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts is…
2.) If you could have a role on a TV show, which show would you choose?

I’ve actually auditioned to be in a few really popular tv shows. Watch the video to see my audition tapes.
(Video here)

I really have no idea why I didn’t get any of the roles that I auditioned for. Clearly I’m amazing.

How did I not get cast as one of the Crawley ladies of Downton?

You’d think that I would’ve been a shoe-in for Cora, the only American character on the show, but no…

I can only assume that I didn’t get cast as Edith because I’m not ugly enough. I actually think the actress is lovely, but I couldn’t go to work everyday with people telling me, “Now remember, you’re a dog face and no one will ever love you, okay?” without laughing in their face and saying, “Is the audience really buying this because I’m super hot. Sort of.”

Lady Mary is a kind and gentle soul compared to what a witch I can be, but I could fast for a month and not have the waifish figure of the actress they chose. Fine by me, ’cause I like to eat me a pan a brownies every now and again. Or once a week. A role on a popular tv show isn’t worth the sacrifice.

Why I wasn’t cast as Lori on The Walking Dead is beyond me. Anyone can run around incessantly screaming “Carl!”. I must not have been annoying enough (my husband would beg to differ). Or maybe I just didn’t look adulterer-y enough.

I don’t think the casting directors liked my take on Maggie and Glenn’s tryst in the Pharmacy. But I’m a lyrical gangsta and sometimes I just gotta lay down some sweet, sweet rhymes. They cannot be contained.

Another way not to get cast in a tv show is to constantly question the character’s poor decision making skills. They probably didn’t appreciate me taking a red pen to the script every time Andrea got romantically involved with yet another psycho. Oh honey, just, no…

This one confuses me the most. How could I not land the role of Michonne when I obviously have such mad ax-wielding skills?! I know she carries a sword, but it couldn’t be that much different, right?

Maybe they changed their minds about me when they saw that I brought my mom along to the audition so that she could cut my meat for me during lunch break. Oh well.

Go check out what the other vloggers are up to or make your own video and link up at:
Mama Kat’s Vlog Workshop
This post is linked to: SITS Sharefest

If you could have a role in a tv show, which show would you choose? Are you a fan of Downton Abbey or The Walking Dead? Let me know in the comments!

*Why I’m not a Movie Star Ballerina Princess (Vlog)

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!

Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

The year is new and so are these vlogs…

So, it’s a new year and these are my first vlogs of 2014. Amazing stuff here, people. Eight and a half minutes of pure whatever.

The first two videos are Mama Kat vlog prompts and the last one is a Mommy TMI.

New Year’s Tag 2014
(Video here)

Dollar Store Haul: Ugly Christmas Sweater
(Video here)

Mommy TMI 01/07/2014
(Video here)

Go check out what the other vloggers are up to or make your own video and link up at:
*Mama Kat’s Vlog Workshop
*Mommy TMI with More Than Mommies.

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!

Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

Twitter made me do it!

One of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts this week was:
Ask Facebook what you should make a video about and do it!
…but I kinda-sorta, accidentally asked Twitter instead.

If you’re a blogger that hasn’t been living under a rock, then you probably know that the BlogHer blog conference was in Chicago last weekend. Last Friday I stumbled upon a Twitter party #HomeCon13 for those of us that weren’t lucky enough to attend BlogHer this year. Being my usual awkward self I started rambling about dancing the Roger Rabbit and wearing onesies. Within a few minutes I was convinced that I needed to make a vlog dancing the Roger Rabbit, preferably while wearing a onesie. (There’s screencap/Storify proof of the convo below, but the image is huge, so I’m going to post the video first.)

(Watch on YouTube)

I really am truly very, very sorry that you had to see that!

WordPress.com is a butt face about embedding certain things, so I had to make screencaps of everything. However, if you click through the image you’ll be taken to the prettier Storify version.
[View the story “Jenn Rian at #HomeCon13” on Storify]

And after all of the hard work to put that together, it’s still too small for you to read 😦

You can see a recap of ALL the #HomeCon13 fun by reading @JennSmthngClv‘s Storify here.

Many other #HomeCon13 attendees have written recap posts from their perspective. I was going to link to them, but to save me some time and sanity I’d instead like to invite them to leave their links in the comments 🙂

Thanks to Tracy (CrazyAsNormal) from Crazy as Normal for letting me know that today…
I win the internet! My plan is working…muhuwahahahaha! Next step: World Domination!

The onesie plays, people. The onesie plays.

Have you ever attended BlogHer?
Did you attend #HomeCon13?
Do you know how to do the Roger Rabbit?
Do you own an adult onesie?
Let me know in the comments!

Don’t forget to check out the other vloggers at Mama Kat’s vlog workshop!

More Onesie Funsies:
*The Origin of the Onesie
*Prance off the Pounds: Prancercise Parody

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

Paint my face

I don’t wear makeup. I can’t stand the stuff. I think I look like a clown when I wear it. I find it itchy and uncomfortable and way too much work. Which I suppose is good because my face repels it anyway. Literally 5 minutes after I put it on it’s disappeared to some mystical place other than my face. Luckily I’m a natural beauty with a great all-American-girl-next-door face…or I’m ugly and I just don’t care.

Last week one of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts was “Have your husband put makeup on you”, but my hubby refused to do it…so my daughter did it instead. (Watch on YouTube)

One of the vlog prompts this week was “Show us what’s in your makeup bag” and because I already had the footage leftover from last week, I decided to go for it. That’s some lazy vlogging right there. (Watch on YouTube)

I also did a vlog about my favorite workout. (Watch on YouTube)

If you’re a weirdo and you like my vlogs, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and check my Vlog Magic page for updates that aren’t posted directly to the blog.

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

Someone needs to apologize to Jem…and to Jenn

Jem is truly outrageous…and so is what happened to my Jem coloring book when I was a child!
Watch the video to find out who needs to apologize to me!
(Video here)

Oh the injustice of it all!!!! It was premeditated, you can see the devious look in her eyes!

Be sure to check out what the other vloggers have to say over at Mama Kat’s Vlog Workshop.

Did you have a favorite coloring book as a child (or adult)?
Is there someone who owes you an apology?
Let me know in the comments!

Related Posts
*There’s a bra in my lunchbox

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

Prance off the Pounds!

Have you heard of Prancercise?
Prancercise® was created by Joanna Rohrback of Prancercise LLC and is described as “A Springy,rhythmic way of moving forward similar to a horse’s gait and ideally induced by elation”.

If you haven’t seen it yet you absolutely MUST watch this video before watching mine!

(Click here to view the video)

That is about 50 shades of awesome right there. I can’t even begin to put into words all of the wonderful things about that video. If nothing else the stretch pants coupled with the business jacket and costume jewelry will forever change the way I think of workout attire.

If that wasn’t great enough, Mama Kat, in all of her wisdom has made one of the vlog prompts this week “Get your Prancersize on!”. I just absolutely couldn’t resist.

Join me as we Prance off the Pounds together!
(Click here to view the video)

So, yeah. I may need a good divorce lawyer because my husband wasn’t super-thrilled about me making that video 😉

Click here to learn the history of the onesie.
By the way, my onesie video was featured by Mama Kat back in April. That was the most exciting blog thing to ever happen to me until now when she picked my awkward story as one of her favorites from the 6/05/13 Writer’s Workshop…and, and she featured my Dear Diary vlog from last week! I was tearing it up last week! 😉

If you’re looking to waste more of your time you should subscribe to my YouTube channel!

What do you think of Prancercise?
What is your favorite fitness workout?
Let me know in the comments!

If you’ve Prancercised I’d love to see it!
Be sure to stop by Mama Kat’s and check out the other vloggers!

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

My Tween Diary: I’m kind of a Middle School stalker

This is my old diary from Middle School.

I wrote in it on and off throughout 6th, 7th, and 8th grade (1990-1993). There was so much drama in it…except there really wasn’t any actual drama. It was dramatic for me at the time.
My diary is hilariously embarrassing…or embarrassingly hilarious, I’m not sure which one.

Lucky for all of you, I don’t get embarrassed.
And even luckier than that “Read an entry from an old diary” was one of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts this week. That’s right, I’m going to pour my 12 1/2 year old soul out to you.

Today I’m going to read “Friday March 20, 1992”.
This was during my “Kevi-Poo” stage.

(Email and feed readers click to watch video.)

Well, there you go. I was kind of a stalker.

I actually had a denim purse that one of my friends wrote this kid’s name all over. Unfortunately most of the ink has faded over the years. Sadness. (Click on the image to enlarge)

I have many more riveting entries like this one. They’re not all about Kevi-Poo, there are at least two other boys that play a major role in my diary. I could make an entire series out of it if anyone else actually cared.

Do you have an old diary from Middle School?
Did you have a crazy-stalker crush when you were younger?
What did you vlog about today?
Let me know in the comments!

If you’ve vlogged/blogged about your diary, I’d love to see it!
Be sure to stop by Mama Kat’s and check out the other vloggers!

Also linked to: Jenny on the Spot: Daily Vlog / June: Show Me the Funny

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com

38 Random Things About Me

After all of the talk in my previous post about how much I want to write the first thing that I post (a month later) is actually a video. Yep. No writing. (Well, some. Okay, I lied. It’s a lot. But still.)

Mama Kat had a “32 Random Questions” vlog prompt this week, so I thought I’d share it here. I have a difficult time being brief. I actually recorded the video twice because the first one was 30 minutes long…and then I still hacked the second one to death. After all of the editing…still nearly 14 minutes of nothingness. Truly exciting stuff. I spent days editing the video, so please watch it (and try to stay awake) so that all of that hard work wasn’t in vain.

Coincidentally Mama Kat also has a “list 6 random facts about yourself” writing prompt for her Writer’s Workshop this week, so it made sense to combine the two.

6 Random Things About Me

1. I’m a certified bra fitter
From 1998 to 2003 I worked in (and eventually managed) the lingerie department of a local department store. I had to go through “fit training” with a representative from Playtex. Even though I was technically “certified” Playtex never sent me my certificate (I was supposed to receive one to hang in the fitting room), so I have nothing to prove it except for my mad bra-fitting skills (kinda hard to prove on the internet).
I don’t have any photos of me working as a Fit Consultant so here are some of me holding up random lingerie 😉

I actually became the most popular bra-fitter (called a “Fit Consultant”) in our mall. Sometimes I would spend hours with a customer. I’ve seen many, many things that I can never unsee. I’ve seen the future and it ain’t pretty, ladies.

2. I once auditioned for Deal or No Deal
Yep. In 2008 Deal or No Deal casting came to the Mall at Robinson in the greater Pittsburgh area. I decided that standing in line for 9.5 hours for a small chance of maybe being on the show and maybe winning some money sounded like a great idea. Obviously this was before I had children.
Here’s what the line outside looked like when I arrived at 10 am.
(If you want to truly appreciate the magnitude of the crowd click the picture and then click it again to enlarge.)

I stood in that line, people. For 9.5 hours.
Honestly, I remember very little about the experience now.
I must’ve done an okay job during my 30 second (?) audition because I made it to the second round! Apparently there was a third round I never made it to. I could be wrong but I think I heard that only 3 people made it to the third round and out of them only one was chosen. They didn’t give those details going into it or I wouldn’t have wasted my time.
Here’s what the same parking lot looked like when I left at 7:30 pm.

And here is me losing my mind.

3. I was on a Christian sitcom called Pastor Greg
In 2007 I saw an audition posted on Craigslist for the Christian sitcom “Pastor Greg”. Pastor Greg aired on a handful of Christian television networks and I had seen a few episodes on our local station, Cornerstone. I hadn’t done any acting in awhile and thought, “what the heck!” and decided to audition. I found out later that they already had someone in mind for the part they had me audition with, but loved how I read it and decided to give it to me.
I played “dog lady” in Season 3, Episode 2 “Agape” which aired 02/08/2008 (according to imdb). In this episode “John (Jim Young) takes his dog to Camp Bow-Wow, Lon raps to a troubled teen and Greg and Missy have their baby.”

I was a crazy dog lady at a doggy daycare. Thankfully I don’t have a clip of it. I managed to catch it on tv once and I’m actually pretty embarrassed. They wanted me to play the part really campy with lots of over-acting, which I didn’t care for. I felt like I was on an SNL sketch except that it wasn’t funny. Oh, well.
Here I am waiting to be filmed.

4. I’ve only had my hair colored once in my life.
The summer after I graduated high school I allowed my sister to cut my hair crazy short and then color it. I’ve actually always liked my strawberry-blonde hair color so I actually picked out the same exact hair color to dye my hair with. Instead of drastically changing the color it just enhanced my natural color.

The colors look very different in the photo above but the dye was so close to my natural color that I never bothered to color it again and when it grew out you couldn’t tell the difference.
Here’s my hair a few months after the cut/color and then a year after. No roots, no difference.

I decided the short hair wasn’t for me. My hair grows crazy fast and I literally needed it cut every week. I also hated styling it and found it to be really hot during the summer since I couldn’t pull it back off of my face. As for the color I decided to keep it natural since my original hair color is pretty enough 🙂

5. I have creepy monkey feet.
I have creepy monkey-like toes that I can literally ball into a toe-fist. Don’t be jealous.

6. I take pictures of my creepy monkey feet for no reason.
The last random fact about me is that I didn’t take those photos above specifically for the blog. I took those photos in 2006 for absolutely no reason at all. I have no idea why I took them, but I did. They came in handy since I didn’t have to take any new photos for this post.

32 Random Things About Me
Just in case you haven’t wasted enough of your life reading this post you can waste another 14 minutes listening to me answer a bunch of random questions. Pretend that you like it.

(Email and feed readers click to watch the video: 32 Random Questions)

(You can read the post about my fear of heights that I mentioned in the video here.)

In the video I mention that I couldn’t remember which one of these was the last concert that I went to. I found the ticket stubs and it looks like Lynyrd Skynyrd wins by a month!

Watch my vlog to find out the answers to the following burning questions!
A list of 32 questions to answer in your next vlog!
1.) Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
2.) Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?
3.) Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
4.) Have you ever stolen a street sign?
5.) Do you cut out coupons and then never use them?
6.) Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
7.)Do you always smile for pictures?
8.) Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
9.) Have you ever peed in the woods?
10.) Do you still watch cartoons?
11.) Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
12.) What do you drink with dinner?
13.) What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
14.) What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
15.) Were you ever a girl scout?
16.) Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
17.) Can you change the oil on your car?
18.) Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
19.) Afraid of heights?
20.) Do you sing in the car?
21.) Is Christmas stressful?
22.) Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid.
23.) Do you believe in ghosts?
24.) The first concert you ever went to.
25.) Walmart, Target, or Kmart?
26.) Nike or Adidas?
27.) Can you curl your tongue?
28.) Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
29.) The last concert you saw?
30.) Can you swim well?
31.) Can you knit or crochet?
32.) Are you a dog person or a cat person?

This post is linked to Mama Kat’s Losin’ It!
2.) List six random facts about yourself.

If you’re visiting from Mama Kat’s vlogging workshop I also have a video tutorial for the prompt this week. I didn’t make it for the workshop, but it fits, so here it is if you’re interested:
Ribbon Topiary Tutorial

I Make Myself the Queen is an itty-bitty newborn blog. Please be gentle with it, wash your
hands before touching it, and be sure to come back often to tell it how cute it is!


Read my family blog www.coolestfamilyontheblock.com