I Make Myself the Queen

Mommy TMI 11/13/13

Hey. I have blog and sometimes I write on it and sometimes I make videos and sometimes I don’t do anything. Whatever. After missing 6 weeks of Mommy TMI vlogs, I’m back. Until I’m not again.

Janene and Christine from More than Mommies have some questions and I have some answers.

(Video here)

You can check out the other vloggers over at the (last) More Than Mommy Mixer.

If you a loyal viewer of my YouTube Channel (because clearly you have no life or friends, much like myself) and you want me to answer the vlog prompts from the previous 6 Mommy TMIs that I missed, just leave me a comment and let me know. The questions are below.

Mommy TMI Questions that I missed:
-What is your favorite Thanksgiving side dish, and why would anyone top a vegetable with marshmallows?
-Tell us your favorite awkward neighbor story.
-What are your kids’ most persistent tactics to delay bedtime? Why do they always win?
-What is your favorite fall flavor?
-When is the most scared you’ve ever been?
-What is your most memorable Halloween costume from your childhood?
-What is your favorite book?
-What is your Go-To recipe?
-What is the craziest thing hanging on your fridge?
-What one word best describes you?
-What is your favorite color?
-What was your most memorable vacation as a child?
-What is the one toy of your kids’ that you would play with even if they weren’t there because it is so much fun?
-In one sentence, what is your reaction when you hear the UPS truck pull up to your house?
-What holiday or event are you already counting down the days to?

Random stuff about me that I’m sure no one cares about. But isn’t that the whole point of my entire blog? Pretty much.

When do you start celebrating Christmas?
Who is the hardest person to shop for?
What is your awesomely embarrassing fashion trend?
Would you like me to make more Mommy TMI vlogs?
Let me know in the comments!

Posted in About Me, Mommy TMI, Vlog

2 Comments

Tags: vlog

1984 Costumes: What the wha?

Oct 24

Posted by Jenn Rian

It was 1984. I was 5 years old. And I actually have no memory of this Halloween at all. From the photos I can gather that this was a church Halloween party and that I was a white bunny and my younger sister was a lion.

We kids were dressed in fairly traditional costumes: Bunny, Gypsy, Raggedy Ann, Superman, Clown, another Bunny (the nerve!), and a Lion.

For being a children’s party at church, there are some pretty creepy looking costumes in the background.

1. Is that a giant hat or does the person have a sack over their head?
And why? Is it a scarecrow? Why doesn’t it have a face?!!!
2. Probably the most disturbing of all. Is that a green-faced bearded lady wearing a shower cap, rubber kitchen gloves, and holding a broom?
And also…???
3. That is actually a Care Bear, but it’s still scary.
4. This clown is way more creepy than fun and there is some seriously unfortunate positioning going on with that balloon. Also, why do we only have oblong balloons? Was there a round balloon shortage that year?
5. This mini clown in front is also disturbing. Especially the way it’s staring at the other children.

And seriously…what in the bleepity-bleep are those things?!!!

What were some of your childhood costumes?
Were there certain costumes that frightened you as a child?
Let me know in the comments!

*This post is linked to SITS Blogtober 2013: Throwback Thursday.

Posted in About Me, Old School, Throwback Thursday, True Stories

16 Comments

Tags: 1984, costumes, creepy, halloween, Throwback Thursday

Twitter made me do it!

Jul 31

Posted by Jenn Rian

One of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts this week was:
Ask Facebook what you should make a video about and do it!
…but I kinda-sorta, accidentally asked Twitter instead.

If you’re a blogger that hasn’t been living under a rock, then you probably know that the BlogHer blog conference was in Chicago last weekend. Last Friday I stumbled upon a Twitter party #HomeCon13 for those of us that weren’t lucky enough to attend BlogHer this year. Being my usual awkward self I started rambling about dancing the Roger Rabbit and wearing onesies. Within a few minutes I was convinced that I needed to make a vlog dancing the Roger Rabbit, preferably while wearing a onesie. (There’s screencap/Storify proof of the convo below, but the image is huge, so I’m going to post the video first.)

(Watch on YouTube)

I really am truly very, very sorry that you had to see that!

WordPress.com is a butt face about embedding certain things, so I had to make screencaps of everything. However, if you click through the image you’ll be taken to the prettier Storify version.
[View the story “Jenn Rian at #HomeCon13” on Storify]

And after all of the hard work to put that together, it’s still too small for you to read 😦

You can see a recap of ALL the #HomeCon13 fun by reading @JennSmthngClv‘s Storify here.

Many other #HomeCon13 attendees have written recap posts from their perspective. I was going to link to them, but to save me some time and sanity I’d instead like to invite them to leave their links in the comments 🙂

Thanks to Tracy (CrazyAsNormal) from Crazy as Normal for letting me know that today…
I win the internet! My plan is working…muhuwahahahaha! Next step: World Domination!

The onesie plays, people. The onesie plays.

Have you ever attended BlogHer?
Did you attend #HomeCon13?
Do you know how to do the Roger Rabbit?
Do you own an adult onesie?
Let me know in the comments!

Don’t forget to check out the other vloggers at Mama Kat’s vlog workshop!

More Onesie Funsies:
*The Origin of the Onesie
*Prance off the Pounds: Prancercise Parody

Posted in Dance ?, Humor, Onesie, Vlog, Vlog Workshop

28 Comments

Tags: dance, HomeCon13, onesie, Roger Rabbit, vlog

The Flight of the Midnight Moth

Jul 14

Posted by Jenn Rian

The Flight of the Midnight Moth
A True Story in 12 Lines

We could have been friends, you and I
But instead you decided to fly
Without warning too close to my face
Made me jump all over the place
Some of us are moth-friendly folks
Who like hearing moth knock-knock jokes
And would be quite happy to
Become Facebook friends with you
So next time please think before flying
And sending some poor lady crying
The whole thing makes me quite sad
When I consider what we could’ve had

(Ew. You can see the flash glimmering in his little mothy eyeball. So creepy.)

To read the full story of this terrifying moth-attack visit my other blog.

And since it is semi-related…this text cracks me up!
source

Leave me a comment in 12 lines!
Or just one…I’m not picky 🙂

*This post was a prompt for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop
2.) Write a post in just 12 lines.

Posted in Humor, This Rhymes, True Stories, Writer's Workshop

6 Comments

Tags: moth, poem, writer's workshop

Mommy TMI 7/12/13

Jul 11

Posted by Jenn Rian

It’s time for another Mommy TMI vlogging link up with Janene and Christine from More Than Mommies

Be sure to stop by the More Than Mommies Mixer to link up your vlog, blog, Twitter, Facebook, and Google+…I’m co-hosting this week as the Life of the Party!

Check out my video to hear the answers to these burning questions. (Video here)

(Video here)

If you’re interested in more of my vlogs (of course you are!) here are some links to a few I’ve posted this week:
*Socially Awkward Blogger interacts with humans (Watch on YouTube)
*Jenn Meets Kat: How I envision our first face-to-face meeting
*Mommy TMI 6/28/13 (Watch on YouTube)

…and you can find even more of that good stuff on my YouTube channel (subscribe!) and my Vlog Magic page.

You can make your own Mommy TMI vlog and link it up with the More Than Mommies Mixer…or you can just link up your blog and get your blog hop on.

Posted in About Me, Blog Hops, Mommy TMI, Vlog

12 Comments

Tags: blog hop, humor, linky, vlog

I’m the Life of the Party (Linky)

Jul 11

Posted by Jenn Rian

Pretty ironic after all of my social awkwardness a few weeks ago, but here I am…the Life of the Party!

Read the rest of this entry →

Posted in Blog Hops, Blogging, Mommy TMI

5 Comments

Tags: blog hop, linky

How to be socially awkward at blogging events

Jul 7

Posted by Jenn Rian

Do you find new blog followers everywhere you go? Are people drawn to your sparkling personality and witty conversation? Are you the life of every party?
Would you like it to stop? If you’d like to make less friends and leave a questionable impression on everyone you meet, then follow these helpful tips.

(Watch on YouTube)
The video and the post are different. Sorry to inform you, you are going to have to both read and watch. 😉

How to be socially awkward at blogging events

1. Find out about the event the day before.
The last thing that you need is more time to be properly prepared so make sure that you find out about the event at the last minute. Having other plans before your event is also great for helping you feel rushed and unprepared.

(When Crazy Meets Exhaustion vlogs and I find out about the Scary Mommy Meet and Greet.)

2. Do not get adequate sleep the night before.
It’s best to be totally exhausted so that you’re really off your game and you have (even more) huge dark circles and bags under your eyes. Personally I like to go to bed at 4:30am and then wake up at 7:00am the next morning.

3. Make a last minute trip to the store.
If you’re going to an event where you have the opportunity to have an author sign something for you and then realize you don’t have a physical book for them to sign you may as well take an hour or so to go buy the book. Make sure that the trip makes you run late so that you barely have time to change your clothes before the event.

4. Bring a tiara.
Carry a tiara in your bag, make sure that it’s visible and that everyone can see it.
Don’t take it out and don’t mention it. Also it helps to carry around a pair of cute but very large shoes that have mud on them from your trip to the park earlier that day.

5. Dress inappropriately.
If everyone else is rocking a cute sundress you should totally shroud yourself in dark clothing, wear flip-flops, and try your best to resemble a 12 year old hippie-ninja wearing pajamas.
Also, be short. Really short.

Me, Christine, Stephanie, Jill, Janene, Meredith, Amanda

6. Make a poor underwear selection.
I’m not just talking about pantylines. Wear something that bunches, creeps, and rides up. Just when someone finds you remotely interesting, slink away and attempt to discreetly pull the underwear from your crack. Repeat 35 times.

7. Be certain the photographer only takes bad photos of you. No, I mean really, really bad photos.
Preferably when you’re in the middle of nervously crossing and uncrossing your legs.

(Source of unedited photo)

8. Sweat like a pig and incessantly fan yourself.
Upper lip sweat is particularly great for making you feel more uncomfortable. Find a program, a postcard, or something similar and fan yourself furiously.

9. Make friends with a lamp.
Just when the conversation is starting to get good, step aside and begin standing awkwardly next to a lamp as though it is your best friend.

10. Ramble about a different blogger.
When a famous blogger is signing your book start rambling about how much you love a different blogger. “I love Kat. I read her blog all the time. She’s so funny. She’s my best friend, except not really. I am not a stalker.”

11. BONUS! Talk smack on your own blog.
Also, when talking to other bloggers be sure to badmouth your own blog, “My blog is small. No one reads it. I don’t even write on it anymore. Everything is stupid. I hate the world.”
Don’t tell them the name of your blog and don’t give them your business card.
(Source of unedited photo)

Even though I felt like a socially awkward weirdo, all of the other bloggers were great and assured me that I “did just fine” (Code for: It’s awkward enough without talking about how awkward it is. Please change the subject.).
I want to give a special shout-out to Femme Frugality that had the misfortune of witnessing me accidentally rub my booty all over the food table and then crack a lame joke about sitting on a stack of plates. My apologies.

(You can also see the awkward encounter I’ve imagined if I ever met Kat in person here)

As if I didn’t embarrass myself enough the first time, I’m going to be attending a local blogger Meet and Greet on July 19, 2013. This event is at Ikea, so I’m going to be really busy making friends with lamps, but I’m sure I can make a little time for you if you’d like to experience this train wreck in person.

Where will Jenn be acting like an idiot in 2014?
Come watch it happen in person! 🙂

This post is linked to:

Posted in Awkward, Blogging, Humor, Writer's Workshop

45 Comments

Tags: awkward

Paint my face

Jul 4

Posted by Jenn Rian

I don’t wear makeup. I can’t stand the stuff. I think I look like a clown when I wear it. I find it itchy and uncomfortable and way too much work. Which I suppose is good because my face repels it anyway. Literally 5 minutes after I put it on it’s disappeared to some mystical place other than my face. Luckily I’m a natural beauty with a great all-American-girl-next-door face…or I’m ugly and I just don’t care.

Last week one of Mama Kat’s vlog prompts was “Have your husband put makeup on you”, but my hubby refused to do it…so my daughter did it instead. (Watch on YouTube)

One of the vlog prompts this week was “Show us what’s in your makeup bag” and because I already had the footage leftover from last week, I decided to go for it. That’s some lazy vlogging right there. (Watch on YouTube)

I also did a vlog about my favorite workout. (Watch on YouTube)

If you’re a weirdo and you like my vlogs, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and check my Vlog Magic page for updates that aren’t posted directly to the blog.